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    5 Replies Latest reply on Aug 12, 2008 12:52 PM by wealthoffice

    60 second voice over script for new service product...

    wealthoffice Newbie
      Please give me your feedback on the script below for a new marketing landing page:



      Quickbackround: Hi I have spent almost 3 years building a new online NetWorth tracking portal for our clients to compliment our financial advisory
      practice and we are offering it though our new company (site
      not up yet). It has everythiong to build and maintain a financial plan, including real estate valuation and more.

      We had a script made up that a voiceover person will say during a 60 second
      flash presentation with graphics that illustrate the service; with the idea that if people are interested they will give
      us their contact info and then we can follow up from there.

      Anyways I received the script and since a majority of our clients are small
      business owners I wanted to get some feedback from the community.
      Script first draft: [Are you ready to fire your financial advisor?
      Feel like your advisor calls only when there is another product to sell?
      Well now there is a better way. +Introducting \"Wealth
      Office\"+. \"Wealth Office\" is a revolutionary new
      approach to financial planning. This unique, integrated, interactive
      portal provides a live financial blueprint and allows you to self-monitor your
      portfolio, with the support and expertise of a personal wealth advisor to help
      you along the way. With typical financial planners, your plan is outdated
      the second it is printed. The lengthy drawn-out process of repetitive
      meetings that result in out-dated information is a thing of the past.
      Take charge of your portfolio. Take charge of your net worth. Take
      charge, with Wealth Office. And now you can get started risk free.
      Just fill out the secure form below to get a 60 day, no-risk, money back
      guarantee. Wealth Office, building net-worth with individual advice.
        • Re: 60 second voice over script for new service product...
          Lighthouse24 Ranger

          I have done some of this kind of stuff for my business, so my feedback is based strictly on those experiences. So any of the advertising pros in the community who have a different perspective are encouraged to disagree with me!

          When I'm trying to contrast my product or service with another firm's (to convince a customer to change something), it has worked better more me when the opening question is designed to have a negative reply (to create the kind of tension and dissatisfaction that prompts change). In other words, I'd begin with, "Are you REALLY happy with your financial advisor?" The people who think "yes" or who don't have a financial advisor (neither of whom were your target anyway) will tune out -- while the rest will now be mentally and emotionally thinking about how and why they're ticked off at their planner -- which is what you want for this type of ad, I think.

          The phase "unique, integrated, interactive portal" strikes me as twelve syllables of "fluff." If the phrase creates a precise mental picture in your target's mind of your product, then no problem. If it doesn't, you could probably find twelve syllables of plain language that does. That sentence is also too long -- break it up into two clearer sentences. Voiceovers work best with short words and short sentences (plus it is much easier for the talent to read and get right).

          "With typical financial planners, your plan is outdated the second it is printed. The lengthy drawn-out process of repetitive meetings that result in out-dated information is a thing of the past." Those sentences fail to drive home the contrast you're trying to make in my opinion. My suggestion would be something more like, "Traditional financial planning involves too many meetings and too much of your time. Even then, your plan is outdated the moment it's printed. Wealth Office makes that a thing of the past." Shorter, clearer, and more powerful (I think).

          Hope that was what you were looking for. Best wishes.
          1 of 1 people found this helpful
          • Re: 60 second voice over script for new service product...
            Bridge Navigator
            Lighthouse had some excellent comments.

            Some further background would help is providing additional comments:

            May I ask who your target customer is for this piece?

            People with/without planners? Any age demographics you expect?

            You say this will compliment your current practice. In your current practice, do you have meetings with clients and draw up "outdated" plans?

            If one of your current clients saw the ad, what would their reaction be and how would this service compliment the current services your provide them?

            Is this intended to be an additional service offered to clients (for free or additional charge) or is it intended as a replacement/altenrative to "traditional" services you offer?
              • Re: 60 second voice over script for new service product...
                wealthoffice Newbie
                Our ideal target market is small business owners who are 5-10 years away from retirement and currently have a high income. Be that as it may we do take clients that either have high income with the capacity to save money or people who already have saved their money and need further guidance.

                We are attempting to capture the middle market of people that perhaps do not completely utilize a advisor and/or are afraid to dive into the process or because they have been burned or heard bad stories. We are not after do-it-yourself type of customer that would prefer to do all the financial aspects themselves. We anticipate to hear from small business owners who meet the above criteria, and people in ther 40-60's with a good starting point in assets. We are looking for the people to say ok, I have got this far, now what do i do from here or need a second opinion--a recent story reminded me that people do need advice. A lady placed over $400,000 in an indymac CD to get better interest; most people don't know that in any given year anywhere from 3-6 banks fail. She will get some money back, but thats just an example. But our best clients are ones who have had other advisors, and many had them for years--but our focus on plan first, then the rest will follow has one them over year after year.

                Well the process of financial planning is gathering often outdated data and then presenting a plan based on that data. Then since you can not implement all the recomendations at once, you will have to reference the dated plan that continues to date the longer you wait. We have long since adopted a different type of implementation that works best for us and our clients. We break up the plan into deliverable parts. Now with this new tool we will be able to create and update plans in a fraction of the time as before. Since it saves time we will have more time to giving advice and implementation and updates vs building plans and let them gather dust in a clients book case.

                Our current clients have been awaiting the launch of this product for awhile and they want it bad. We have given sneak peeks to them and they are very excited to the aspect of being able to view a live NetWorth and asset allocations accross all institutions and know that we are monitoring and being proactive.

                For existing financial plan clients with a certain asset level will be enrolled at no additional fee. But new clients will have to pay a small up front fee for the getting organized meeting, and a monthly fee. More services will be offered to those with greater assets (with greater need).

                The whole point was to get out client as excited about financial planning as we were--I have to admit not many clients are excited about financial planning--but they know they need it. The reason they don't like it because the meetings required just to gather data to make a plan. Our portal will replace all of that and the financial plan can be updated in a few clicks by an advisor--and if there is a major change then a meeting will be warranted.

                And the cool part is that the client sees what we see-so if they want the best advice then they will visit the secure site often, which hopefully brings up other conversations.

                Other than do-it-yourself customers, our clients just want to know where they stand, and where they should be in the future, and have a up to date roadmap to get to where they are going.