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    3 Replies Latest reply on May 18, 2008 2:38 PM by emeraldrose63

    Critique my website

    Neuropsych Newbie
      Hi everyone,
      I just put together my website and I was wondering if I could get some feedback. Thanks!

      Best,
      Chris
        • Re: Critique my website
          Neuropsych Newbie
          my website is www.sfbrainwellness.com
          • Re: Critique my website
            MoreClients Newbie
            HI Chris,

            Your site is certainly clean and to the point. However, I would like to see you delve into the topics a bit more on your home page. I would suggest to not go overboard, but with topics as in depth as those you deal with, more information is called for and, in most cases, welcomed.

            For instance, instead of:
            Adjusting to Medical diagnoses
            Adjustment to medical and neurological illness is difficult. Dr. Weyer Jamora can help you learn how to more effectively cope with your medical illness.

            perhaps:
            Adjusting to Medical Diagnoses
            Adjustment to medical and neurological illness is difficult. (Add a sentence here to expand upon how and/or why it is difficult.) Through ?????, I (use I if you are the only primary contact, or use my team and I, if there are others) help you learn how to more effectively cope with your medical illness, resulting in (whatever the benefits are - 2 or 3 are fine).

            Minor points to notice:
            • do not use double spaces between sentences (fine when using a typewriter, but not a computer)
            • using the first person makes it more personal and less clinical
            • try not to use the word "can" if at all possible; it weakens the statement

            I hope this helps.

            Peter George
            helping self-employed professionals attract more clients and make more profits
            MoreClientsMoreProfits.com
            1 of 1 people found this helpful
            • Re: Critique my website
              emeraldrose63 Adventurer
              Looks good to me..
              Good Luck!