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Couple of thoughts
First - you can try to get your ex to refinance that debt into his own name - this way you no longer have responsibility for a joint account. If these debts are not joint accounts - you are not responsible regardless what the collector says. You can also go to court - either divorce or civil court to get your ex to take full responsibility.
Second, you can always consolidate your debt into a more affordable payment. This means move all of your unsecured debt into a term loan that has a lower monthly payment with better interest.
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How long have you been married?? Do you own real estate (a house)??